I'm sick of this world
Yeah, the title is not heartwarming. And I also donāt want to cover it. It will be a very difficult reading. Content warnings: US politics, transphobia, death, mental health
I have several days with this on my mind, and honestly I still canāt correctly gather my thoughts, so this will come out as is. Because, honestly, I need to vent.
Those who follow me on social media (and even those who read me over here, if they pay attention) can notice my emotional state has been, at the very least, cuestionable. And I really hate being the type of person who only posts depressive stuff. Thatās why I actually havenāt posted a lot, neither here nor other social media. But, well, thatās a lot of disclosures.
As it is, the situation on United States is horrible for everyone. The most affected, the immigrants and the trans community. Honestly this last group is the one that worries me the most, because I have friends over there, which I would have liked to be able to visit during the 2026 World Cup, which itās supposed to be hosted in all of North America. But the current immigration policies make it impossible. But those currently living there are seeing reversed their legal name changes, and basically that government is incredibly stupid, but thatās what makes it much more dangerous, to the point Iām thankful Iām living in Latin America.
Except Iām not, because the situation over here with trans people isnāt any better. The dumb things Wendy Guevara has said just by mere misinformation and internalized transphobia have made the trans haters come out of the sewers to comment everywhere. Practically expected in general interest pages (still shameful). But the worst is precisely seeing transphobic comments on LGBTQ+ pages. I mean, really? And Iām also thorn between my friends misgendering her and calling her ātransvestiteā or ādude with titsā. I mean, I understand Wendy Guevara doesnāt represent the trans community at all. Butā¦ I dunno. It confuses me.
This also has showcased transphobia in my friendship circle, as I have had to reduce it to not take further deceptions. The irony is that some of these āfriendshipsā I decided to cut off are people I already took out of my life before for similar reasons, and I let them back in because I stupidly thought they might have changed. Thinking is not my strongest point, it seems.
On a more painful note, at this point is very well known the murder of Sara Mirelley (at least in Hispanic countries). And as more details about her last moments came outā¦ well, letās say I cannot read a complete note anymore because I immediately feel so powerless about how shitty people can be just for being different. And this is the most known case at the moment. I know much more people who have lost someone close to them in similar ways, and I feel fortunate this is not my case. But I still have a lot of fear. Both for me and my trans and non-binary siblings.
Without forgetting the destruction the Israel government is doing in Palestine. Honestly I think every time I think weāre seeing the worst of humankind, people even take it as a challenge. I even have thought about permanently deleting all of my social media. Even the ones in the fediverse. I just canāt take seeing too many bad news all of the time. (But here I am posting a depressive note)
On a lighter note, I have also had good times, because not everything is crying to sleep. I have been really close with my mom, we went to see a movie, Iām still thriving in my transition, and the job is now currently the least of my issues, and sometimes is even enjoyable.
To say the truth, I see it to be very difficult, and not in a soon-ish timeframe. But I still have hope that eventually things stop being so crappy. I donāt want to lose hope.
On a totally unrelated note, sorry. I know this isnāt cheerful at all, and I also was doubting about even posting this for its content. I promise this will be the only depressive post in a long time.